The end goal

"Tabitha, what are your goals?"

Sitting across from a dear friend eating a larger than life burrito, I stop chewing. "What do you mean?"

"...What are you doing here? What do you want to do with your life?"

I gave my canned answer and finished eating my burrito. But I had to continue chewing over this conversation for the next few days. I had answered his question with all of the desires and hopes I had, with the "calling" I've had on my life, with the things drive me.

It wasn't good enough. It wasn't true.

What is my goal?

• My goal isn't to be a mother.
• My goal isn't to go to Africa.
• My goal isn't to own a multi-million dollar company and encourage/supply the saints.
• My goal isn't to feed myself and keep a roof over my head.
• My goal isn't to love people. 
• My goal isn't to speak truth.
• My goal isn't based upon my desires and thoughts.

My goal is simply this: to do what God wants me to do. 

So, you analytic people reading this: "What does that mean?"; "How do you do that?"

1) It may mean that I do accomplish every one of those things I listed as "not my goal". I may very well go to Africa as a business owner encouraging and supplying the saints, marry a foreigner have beautiful blessed children, speaking the truth over them daily raising them in the Word...etc. 

2) I must stay close to God to know what He wants me to do. Once I know what He wants me to do, I must have the faith to do it, and the discipline to follow through.
I fail sometimes, and that will be a blog for tomorrow (if I can muster the discipline)

You see, if I had those goals, and I accomplished them all....I would feel empty at the end.
My purpose isn't to do great things, My purpose is to be a vessel and vassal.