"No, no."

Recently I was with a group of friends, ages 20-something. It's an age group I'm not around day to day. I explained to them, daily I say things like:

"Uh, oh."

"Did you go potty?"

"Yay!!! You stayed dry!"

"One...two...."

"You need to obey."

You know, words and phrases that someone under the age of 4 would respond to.

Two weeks ago Stella ,the baby girl I nanny, started crawling.

It's the scariest thing I've seen to date.

All of a sudden this teething baby is crawling around sticking all sorts of things in her mouth. She's pulling up to standing and falling down on her face. Pulling heavy objects to crash upon her. Discovering all the choke-hazard-sized items lost under the couch and forgotten in the carpet.

Along with this new-found freedom of hers comes the responsibility to teach her boundaries.

When my neice, Katlynn was to this age our house underwent a facelift. We collected all dangerous items in a "no-no zone" taped off where she knew she wasn't allowed to wander. After discipline and consistency in reminding Katlynn "No, no." she didn't go near the tape.

Boundaries, it's a great lesson to learn.

Following her parents' disciplinary style, I begin to form boundaries for Stella. Simple things: don't touch the outlet/sticky trap/VCR (yes, we have a VCR, it's awesome.); don't suck on the dog's toy/dog's bone/power cord, shoelace; and don't stand on the swing.

So, less than 20 minutes ago this happened:

Alligator tears.

Stella was following me around the kitchen, crawling on her hands and knees. Bound to happen, the dog bowls caught her eye.

Less than a minute of stern "Stella. No, no." with her looking at me, backing away, then trying again to grab the rim of the dog water dish passed.

Once more, she lurched forward. "No, no."

Head downcast, she broke down in tears.  I quickly picked her up into my arms and consoled her....

You see, this blog wasn't meant to be about boundaries, although it's a good lesson as well. It's about the power of your words. In that instant, I was amazed at the sensitivity an infant can show to negative words. In reality, we are all affected the same. We just have tougher shells and drier tear ducts.

James* warns about the tongue being a rudder of a ship, a small flame with the potential to burn an entire forest. In Ephesians**, we're called to build each other up with the words of our mouth. Earlier in James 3:10, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." 

Dear friends, because I love you: shut up. 

To borrow from Thumper (my favorite character in Disney's Bambi), "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all."  [http://youtu.be/Wui-PNqJrxs]

Be wary of the words you use, even in jest. I am more guilty than most for degrading someone in the name of Humor, but I am actively changing my speech habits with the grace of God.  

If you are slanderous, sarcastic, or sardonic by nature, you too can shape your words for the glory of God.***

Psalm 19:14 <niv> "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

*James 3-4:11

**Ephesians 4:29-5:2a

***don't worry, God still enjoys humor. With practice you can use your quick tongue and sharp wit to encourage people instead of tear them down!