Flashback - xanga

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Hate. It's this emotion I've ran into lately. Hatred. It slithers in, a little thing.   An inflicted hurt, a snide remark, a cold shoulder => resulting in a bite of resentment. A wall to run in to, cut off at the knees, stripped bare with nothing to show for yourself. Thus, I shield my eyes from that that offends. Thus, I shan't deal with it. Thus, it will go away right?.... ... ...  No, hate doesn't dissipate. Instead, like the snake it is, it crawls up behind you, wrapping it's smooth scales around you, slowly moving to not raise alarm. The small bite of resentment has numbed you, became an infection of bitterness. I can hardly function, can love and hate come from the same heart?

"Lord!.....LORD!" I cry out with no answer.
"Papa, please help me...I'm sorry, I hate. A poison in my blood, immobilizing me. It suffocates me. 
I'm shamed. Who am I to hate what You've created? Who I am to hate what You've set into motion?
The only thing I should hate is sin. I hate my selfishness, strengthen me to do Your will. I love you. Bolster me to take a loogey to the face. Let me see what You see in Your children.

For Your name's sake...show Your faithfulness."  DO YOU TRUST ME?