My pearls of experience...of my experience of the PEARL

I full-heartily knew that the Lord had called me to do the PEARL Tuesday night. 24 hours later I stood in the ATF Ops Conference room studying the last verse and cramming the 30 country grid we needed to know.

Apprehensive I begged for 618, our fearless Captain, Nic Sylvain (my dear friend) to quiz me on the grid, "Ask me a country!"
"Hmm, Argentina."
"That's not on there silly."

Thus the joyous vacation began. We headed down to the opening service of worship in the Auditorium. The next 3 hours were spent in "Pre-PEARL", a learning time for marching as a team, standing at attention, and basic preparation. We then took a 4 hour nap on the anvil, most of which for me was spent giggling with the girls I choose to lay next to.

PEARL started after that, probably around 3 or 4 Thursday morning.

I'll tell you the punch line now, and you can choose to keep reading if you'd like.
I rang the bell to stop on request around 5PM Thursday.


My mind was still sharp. I could type out everything we did until that moment I rang. I'll save your time and instead highlight learning experiences.

Once I was low-crawling some of the football field with a teammate. He was instructed to find out how to encourage me. He asked, and I replied in the norm, "I don't know."
"What if I promise I won't ring until you do?"
I smiled and said that would do. In essence, this told me that somebody was there for me. I didn't "need" him in the next few hours, but I knew that someone was choosing to be there for me. I was not alone.

We were at the Old Obstacle Course, having just ran it twice. Before our coach split the team into two and had us run it. We now stood at attention (well, I swayed in my line) listening to Coach Neal. He spoke to us about what success means to us, asking when we finished as a team. It dawned on me, he didn't expect us to beat out the other group...he wanted us to finish the best time as a team.
Each person is valuable. I loved each of those people on my team. I didn't know each of their numbers, or even their name. But, I would have low crawled with one, gotten wet and sandy for one, or gladly rolled the hill if one answered a memorization question wrong.

I learned more on that journey to the bell than I did in my 12 hours marching around with the team.

Thursday morning around 9 AM the entire team went through the clinic to do a medical check. I stopped in and told the Medic that I have had a irritation in my neck/back muscles for a few weeks since I got rear-ended. Usually by the end of the day it's bothering me but I get a get 8 or so hours to rest my neck each night. Having not had that time, I had a headache this morning. They asked me if I'd like some ibuprofen and after administrating and telling me to come back if it didn't help, I was sent on my way.

After the entire conference had breakfast, and my team did multiple exercises throughout campus. I started feeling dizzy around 11 or 12 and began drinking plenty of water to ensure it wasn't dehydration. A teammate in the squad beside me noticed that I was holding my head and asked if I was alright. I informed her about my neck hurting and now the dizziness I was experiencing. I asked her to pray for me.

Texas Team then marched to the cattle dip, which was very refreshing and honestly, a God-send due to the increasing heat. I ate a Clif bar at this time to see if I was dizzy due to low blood sugar. We continued up to the Old OC. After running it twice as a whole team, the "Bring-its" went to run the course again. We were allotted this time to rest and drink water, which I took full advantage of. After a bit we were called to stand at attention as Coach Neal spoke to us about the exercise we had just completed. I had my feet planted where they needed to be, but the rest of my body wouldn't quite stay. Swaying back and forth, I knew I would need to visit the Clinic again.

We headed back to the "Outdoor Cafe". The squad leader for the second squad was having back muscle pain, so she and I both headed to the Clinic with two other teammates to escort us around 3PM. I ensured my squad I'd be back and went on my way. Once there the Medic who talked to me that morning came to attend to me. I told her what was happening with dizziness. She made a note on her paper and asked me, "So, you're stopping?"
I didn't miss a beat, "No."
"Do you think that's wise?"
"Of course it is! I just need to rest my neck for a bit."
"What can I do for you?"
"Ice, some different pain reliever to help the swelling. It's fine."

I iced my neck for more than the next 70 minutes. I mulled over what I had learned, what it would mean to ring, if it was a wise decision. My neck no longer hurt, I took of the bag of ice and stretched my neck.

Standing, I tested my balance. I closed my eyes against a wave a blackness. Defeated by such a small member of my own body, I sat down discouraged. After having a level conversation with the Medic, I told her I'd make the decision to stop. 702 (Who I knew was going to participate even though he had said no.) walked me back to our team. I had a conversation with the Coach and an Instructor walked me to the bell, "How are you feeling?"
"I don't want to stop. I don't want to ring." My eyes had started tearing up by now.
"Why?"
"I don't want to disappoint people. I don't want to let them down."
"Who are you going to disappoint?"
"My house."
"Why would this disappoint them?"
"Because, I'm their leader. They were so proud of me to begin, and I can't even stick it out?"
"Would you be upset at me if I didn't do something I couldn't do?"
"No."
"This doesn't make you a bad leader."

Though what she said was true, I walked to the bell and waited for Director Hasz. I told myself I was a failure. I told myself I was ill-equipped. I told myself I was quitting.
These lies have absolutely nothing to do with the event or the Honor Academy. These are lies perfectionists everywhere face daily. Praise God for the loving leadership within this event.
An assistant coach took me to the Director. A talk with Dave Hasz left me encouraged and empowered to go on into my real life with the lessons I learned in my time participating in the PEARL. He assured me that he was proud I was making a wise, though difficult decision.

After I rang, the assistant coach that walked me up hurried to me, held me and made me look into her eyes. "Weakness is not what you think it is."

The previous things in bold are the main things that stuck out to me in the short time I had in the PEARL. This paired with what my pastor has been teaching about, community, has magnified this lesson to me.
We need each other. It's not good for man to be alone, it's the first thing God declared not good.
Had I been alone, I would have penalized myself for my imperfection. Had I been alone, I wouldn't have started the PEARL. Had I been alone, I wouldn't even be blogging right now.

Now, in response to my previous post and someone asking me, "Was it the vacation you hoped for?".
Yes, but much too short in my opinion. However, the Lord is sovereign. The very things I was hoping for a vacation from, I had the opportunity to face right away after the PEARL. My Papa, my ultimate Coach brought me into the PEARL to remind me a few things. How important each person is. Not to give up. You're not alone, and you don't need to be perfect. Then He promptly placed me back into the circumstances He has hand-crafted for me.


Update: September 27, 2011
I had an accident at the beginning on the month. I have been going to the chiropractor for the past week getting the whiplash I didn't notice from the accident.